for once and all, i decided not to go to gallaudet's homecoming which was one of the best things i've done for myself. instead, i decided to go off to an ashram in upstate new york for a yoga retreat. even though it was only for two nights, two and a half days, i felt as if i was gone much longer than that. it was positively gorgeous, absolutely breathtaking, and i also must say it's a very spiritual place -- just what i needed.
the experience was wonderful. there, i was reminded once again of what means the most to me, along with remembering who i really am... so, talk about having an awakening!
she's the kind of girl really has to see what it is that's on your mind she takes the time and understands she makes no judgments, no demands but she makes you feel the fool when you wonder how she slipped
Before I go off for a run I GOT to say something... Jim Zorn, my darling... don't tell me I didn't warn you. Me finish told you that a team like the Redskins, things do jump unexpectedly. So I'm handling your boys' ridiculous loss with grace. In fact, I'm laughing... welcome to Washington!
Anyway, moving on....
me being a November baby must have really brought out the love I have for the foliage. To me, there's something nostalgic about this time of the year. Besides, I've been having a lofty weekend. I am off until Wednesday; since so, I've decided to grant myself with some time, taking a break from everything... what happens when I do? I end up thinking too much.
I mostly thought about Daddy. It has been a while since I let myself to really think about him. For a while, me "not mood" to think or feel anything. I've been busy, being blissfully occupied with a lot of things. I've been wonderfully and comfortably numb which I still am. I've learned that it's okay to feel numb sometimes - because we are able to, we can survive difficult times. Naturally, it's different now than it was a year and a half ago. Death is not a new understanding for me anymore. I've accepted my father's passing away as a part of my life, and to understand that it always will be. I don't necessarily mean I'm moving on and forgetting him. I'd never forget him. Instead, I'm accepting... moving on is one thing - it's what you leave behind that makes it hard. It's only a matter of time. I realized this especially after coming across an e-mail; it was a LONG and WONDERFUL one, and a part of it says:
"Jessica, your father was such a wonderful guy. When you were little, I used to be amazed at how playful he was with you. It seemed that you were truly the apple of his eye. I used to love to watch him tease you and watch your little face light up with delight as you realized he was messing with you. Jessica, your dad used to make me laugh so much. He was one of the funniest, fun guys I knew. His smile- like yours- was contagious! Jessica- he was so proud of you and loved you so much. I just want you to know- it was plain to see. And it was a gift for me- to see such a look of adoration on the face of a father toward his daughter." - Renate, May 25, 2008
I sure missed Daddy like crazy and this time, I laughed without feeling too sad. I'd start joking around about his passing away, as well -- like saying, "jeez... that's a heart attack on a plate, right there!" after seeing lard-loaded cheese french fries.
Trust me, he'd have laughed. Yes, definitely.
Believe me, people are stronger than they know. They forget that, sometimes. God isn't mean, otherwise he wouldn't make our hearts so brave. I've grown stronger because that's what every step has given me -- life is complicated, but those complications made me. I've learned that forgiving doesn't make me weak, I forgive because I'm strong enough to know people make mistakes, too. All that I had experienced truly put my life into perspective. I learned that we are formed by our past, the good and bad alike. We 'ought to be grateful for those experiences. I also saw that one was powerless to change the past; it taught me a lesson I hold dear to this day:
Let it go. Be happy. Keep moving.
John Grisham's "The Innocent Man", yes another Grisham novel for this girl. "The Unheard" by Josh Swiller. Late VP dates with New York City and the four and a half hour one with Valerie... nothing like it. O' hushed October morning mild. I used to be indecisive and now I'm not sure. An angel in blue jeans. I'll charm the socks off you. Real writers write on napkins... outlines for my book.
CAUTION: I'm not like other girls. She'll see me and then she'll say "finally we meet. Where have you been all my life?"
I got my own philter. Dress up because tonight is going to be legendary. I'm a potential drop, a grande dame. My loyal Strand tote bag. My old Xanga entries. There's no femme without the fatale. I don't like the term insane, I'd prefer mentally hilarious.
"But then he'd want a note from my Rabbi." MarloJo on dissing Schiller's class for the Jewish holidays, me finish LAFF HARD. Boys in books are better, that's why authors are rich: Ian Fletcher... now that's some serious mad crush I got here. Quantum physics. Laptop all formatted... my old writings, pictures, memories, schoolwork, my life ... all gone yet, not all is lost.
My sneakers have more mileage than the car does. It wasn't because I didn't know enough, I just knew too much. I may be young at heart, but I know what I'm saying. Grilledcheesesandwich = one of the best things in the world. Side conversations about Sarah Palin in class. Playing the devil's advocate. "You... Jassi?" ... not that again!! Going incognito. She's wise beyond her years, one look from her is all it takes for me to see what she already knew...
... we will always be much more human than we wish to be.
I feel like a proud parent here... instead I'm this PROUD DEAF FAN (as pathetic as that might have sounded me still )
National Association of the Deaf Victory!
NAD Makes Touchdown in Groundbreaking Redskins Case Posted October 2, 2008 In an opinion issued on September 30, 2008, a federal district court
in Maryland held that the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) requires the
Washington Redskins "to provide deaf and hard of hearing fans equal access to
the aural information broadcast over the stadium bowl public address system at
FedExField, which includes music with lyrics, play information, advertisements,
referee calls, safety/emergency information, and other announcements." The lawsuit was brought in August 2006 on behalf of Redskins
fans Shane Feldman, Brian Kelly, and Paul Singleton, who are deaf or hard of
hearing and who regularly attend Washington Redskins home games at FedExField.
The National Association of the Deaf (NAD) and Joseph B. Espo of Brown,
Goldstein & Levy, LLP, represent the plaintiffs. The court's ruling requires
that FedExField, the home of the Washington Redskins, must provide auxiliary
aids and services to make the game-day experience fully accessible for deaf and
hard of hearing fans. "This victory is the first
of its kind and carries great significance" said Nancy J. Bloch, NAD Chief
Executive Officer. "As the court recognizes, there are hundreds of stadiums,
arenas, and sports venues throughout the United States. This groundbreaking
decision is expected to have nationwide ripple effect as these stadiums look to
this decision for guidance on ADA requirements with respect to the communication
access needs of deaf and hard of hearing consumers." "This is a tremendous breakthrough for deaf and hard of hearing sport fans.
This decision, supporting equal access, will benefit the entire deaf and hard of
hearing community, especially those who bleed burgundy and gold," said Mr.
Feldman, referring to the colors of the Washington Redskins team. "This outcome
would not have been possible without the valiant efforts of the NAD and Mr.
Espo." "We expect that stadiums, arenas and other
sports venues will take heed and begin to follow the law on providing equal
access to individuals with disabilities, including providing equal access to
aural information for individuals who are deaf or hard of hearing," said Mr.
Espo. "The court's decision marks a significant
victory for plaintiffs and the deaf and hard of hearing community," said Marc
Charmatz, NAD Senior Attorney. "The ADA applies to stadiums, and now a court,
for the first time, has recognized that deaf and hard of hearing fans have a
legal right to equal access at stadiums." The Court
held that one disputed fact remained in the case -- whether captions displayed
on the 50-yard line were effective for audiovisual presentations displayed on
JumboTrons located in the end zones. The NAD is confident that this matter will
be brought to a successful closure.
"G-d couldn't be everywhere, so He created mothers." - a Jewish proverb
September 18th was one blessed day... MY MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY!
"Have a happy day."
- Mom, every single morning.
Better late than never, September 18th was my mother's birthday and this is for the strongest, sweetest, and the most wonderful person I know. And, not to mention, beautiful. I love her beyond words; she's my role model, my back-bone, my best friend, and the one who taught me ALL about the nature of unconditional love. She'd been there at every corner of my life, through thick and thin, whenever I swim or sink, let it be to hell and back, or heaven-bound, and yet not once had she left my side, no matter what. I don't know where I'd be without her.
When I grow up, I want to be just like Mom.
Isn't this simply CLASSIC?! *laughs*
"Sweet dreams of what?"
- Mom, every single night
By the way... yes, I got my pager back. I lost y'all e-mail addresses so...
you know the drill.
No way. No how. No McCain.
www.womenagainstsarahpalin.blogspot.com
This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple;
Real writers write on napkins... outlines for my book.
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